


Gimme, Gimme, Gimme (a man after midnight)

by Infinitely_Odd



Series: Of Sad boys and Star boys [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Adopted Keith (Voltron), Altean Lance (Voltron), Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Shiro (Voltron), Fleetwood Mac, Gay Keith (Voltron), He's a star boy, Heavy Angst, Hurt Keith (Voltron), Implied/Referenced Abuse, Infinitely_Odd, Japanese Shiro (Voltron), Keith (Voltron)-centric, Keith and Shiro are Adoptive Siblings, M/M, Minor Matt Holt/Shiro, Of Sad Boys and Star Boys, Origami, Orphan Keith (Voltron), References to ABBA, Ruby Blue, Stars, his home is called Altea, kind of, part one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-13
Updated: 2017-08-13
Packaged: 2018-12-14 23:55:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11794110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Infinitely_Odd/pseuds/Infinitely_Odd
Summary: Keith Kogane's life is grey.He's unhappy.He lives everyday holding onto the story his mother told him.If he makes 1000 paper stars, he'll get to make a wish.Then he meets Lance, a boy of the stars.This is the beginning of their journey.





	Gimme, Gimme, Gimme (a man after midnight)

**Author's Note:**

> " Gimme, gimme, gimme a man after midnight,
> 
> won't somebody help me chase the shadows away?"
> 
> \- ABBA, Gimme, Gimme, Gimme (a man after midnight)

When Keith was seven, he came home from school one day battered and bruised and snotty.

His nose was badly bleeding, his lip cut, and his pride and self confidence shattered beyond recognition. He turned into the driveway that lead to his house- a small rundown shack that was more like a largish shed. Keith closed the door behind him, making sure it was locked and bolted, then made his way to the kitchen were his mother stood making tea.

"Hey baby, how was school?"

Keith sniffled, rubbing his bleeding nose and smearing the blood over his face. His mother turned to face him, her warm features twisting into shock when she saw the sorry state of her son. 

"Keith! What's happened to you?" she cried, turning off the tiny stove and picking up Keith who wrapped his arms around her neck and cried. She placed him on the kitchen counter and grabbed the first aid kit from underneath the sink. Keith didn't do anything, he just sat there and let his mother bandage his wounds. Not even flinching when antiseptic spray burned his cuts. 

When she had finished, Keith's mother took him from the counter and sat with him on her lap on the kitchen floor, letting him bury his face into her dark locks of hair. Children were cruel, that much she knew, and Keith was such a smart boy. He could easily go to the private school across town, there was one iron door inhibiting him getting in, money. The school was free, but bus fares, uniforms, lunches, trips, and bake sales. Everything was against them. So he had to attend the other school, for poor families and children kicked out of the other school.

It isn't fair, Keith had cried out one day. 

Life isn't fair, his mother had replied solemnly.

"What was it today?" She asked tentatively, Keith sniffled. 

"It was nothing" he replied into her neck, "they just beat me up again"

Lies. What those boys had called them. Bastard and whore. 

His mother's heart ached for her son. His life hadn't meant to be like this, he was a fire in a dark world. She pressed her lips to his jet black hair and cradled him close to her. 

"You know" she began softly, "My daddy taught me to make little stars out of paper, they're tiny things, but they're easy to make. So whenever I was sad I would make one"

Keith sat up, wiping his dark blue eyes, "How is that going to help me?"

His mother smiled, "You see, there was a story that if you could make a thousand of those stars you would have a wish granted"

The task sounded painfully familiar, yet he couldn't place where he had heard it before. Keith's eyes sparkled, "Any wish?!"

"Yes baby, any wish" Keith grinned, then stared into his mother's eyes and tilted his head. 

"What was yours?"

His mother was silent. "I wished for you"

So Keith spent the night making stars until the troubles of that day had been forgotten. 

* * *

 

 

When Keith was eight, his mother taught him how to kick ass, but could never defend herself. 

He lost count of how many nights he had spent in his room with a pair of stolen earplugs and a stolen CD player, waiting until the horrid men left his house. His mother had taught him all about the music she grew up with, ABBA (his favourite was ABBA), A-ha, Fleetwood Mac, Echo and the Bunnymen. She had taught him so many things. She was so strong.

Eventually the banging and crashing and voices vanished, and Keith knew the men had left, leaving behind bruises, blood, and a pile of £10 notes on their boxes in the living room. This time however, Keith's mother didn't come to get him, and he knew never to come out until his mother came to get him. Time was lost in his room, time is always lost unless there's a clock to guide it. 

But ages passed, and eventually Keith gathered the courage to venture out and find his mother. The house was deadly quiet. Keith quickly and stealthily ran back to his room to retrieve the baseball bat hidden under his bed, then went back to looking. Slowly but surely, the panic began to set in. 

"Mama?" he cried, on the verge of sobbing. "MAMA?"

A faint coughing noise came from the living room, Keith sprinted in to find his mother lying on the floor. Dropping the bat and rushing over to her, he gently brushed the hair out of her eyes, pulling back when it was covered in a sticky liquid. Keith wiped his hands on his clothes and shook his mother.

"Mama! Please wake up!"

After a few shakes, his mother began to slowly open her dark eyes. A bruise was forming on her pale cheek and she seemed delirious, she blinked once, twice, then a grim smile curved onto her face.

"Hey baby, wha's going on?" Keith's eyes welled up with tears, and without a second thought flung his tiny arms around his mother's neck. She sat up groggily, wrapping one arm around her sobbing son and leaning on the other. She smelled of sweat and something else that made Keith's nose wrinkle is disgust, yet he clung onto her anyway. He pulled away from her neck to look her in the eyes. She was so thin, how hadn't he noticed?

"Mama I don't want those men here again" He said softly, his lower lip trembling. His mother sighed, not looking her son in the eyes. 

"Keith I can't, those men help us bring in money for food and nice things..." 

"But they hurt you..." he silently begged her to answer the question of why, voice pleading and hopeless, "I can't understand it mama, I can't..."

She didn't reply. How could you explain this to a child. He was only nine. Keith looked away. 

Keith knew what they did to her, the boys at his school gave him more than enough knowledge of it, but his mother would hate herself if she knew. So he feigned ignorance, played the fool, in the hopes of making his mother a little happier. Even though it felt like the weight of the world was resting on his shoulders. 

Wordlessly, his mother carried him to the bathroom and showered them both- hot water was nothing to be wasted- then they dried off and listened to ABBA whilst making tiny paper stars.

For a single moment, it seemed like everything would be fine. 

* * *

 

 

When Keith was ten, his mother grew more and more ill as the days passed, but she didn't tell him.

The men still came, less frequently, but with every visit Keith grew more and more angry towards them. He hated them for hurting his mother. So to let out his anger he began working out, running home everyday after school then going out a little later. He practised his fighting on trees and fences- he had to make do. 

Everyday he saw his mother getting thinner and thinner, more and more weak. She was coughing so often sometimes she couldn't speak, she hardly ate nowadays. That was the price to pay for the men coming less often. But they still came, and Keith still sat in his cupboard with his CD player and shitty headphones, the rage bubbling up inside him. He had made at least four hundred stars, but hadn't decided on a wish, it helped him though- giving him hope of a brighter future. 

The breaking point came when he came home from school to find his mother lying on the floor, surrounded by a pool of blood. With a cry he ran towards her, pulling her limp head onto his lap. She was so gaunt and frail, her skin almost translucent. 

"Mama?..." Keith whispered, shaking her shoulders gently, "Mama?"

She didn't even take a breath.

The front door clicked open, and the familiar panic rose in Keith's chest once again. A mans voice echoed throughout the house, it was slurred then joined by two other male voices equally as distorted. Keith ran to his room, light on his feet like his mother had, and closed his room door slightly. Grabbing his bat, he peeked through the door of his bedroom. Three men were kneeling over his mum, their backs to him. 

He didn't say anything, just held the bat up to his face and breathed long and slow. They were laughing and poking her body, not doing anything yet, just laughing and making obscene jokes about her. Patience yields focus. Keith flinched a little as the phrase popped into his head, comforting him. He briefly wondered where he had heard the phrase before...

One man drunkenly kicked his mother, "Is it deead?" He slurred, laughing cruelly, another man hacked up something gross, wiping it on his trouser leg.

The third stood up, shaky hands fumbling for the zipper of his trousers. "well" he said, "better make the most of it..."

Keith broke. Running on his tip toes, he hit the first man in the back of the head with the bat, the second man whirled around meeting the end of Keith's bat head on. The third tried to fight back, but was too intoxicated to do any real damage. Keith was younger, faster, and definitely slimmer. Spinning on his heel, he hit the third man, who collapsed instantaneously. 

His breathing was slightly laboured, the adrenaline pumping through him wearing off. Tears slipped silently down his face as Keith rummaged through the pockets of the three men, taking out spare money, condoms, lint, and finally the item he wanted: an iPhone. He pushed the unconscious men off his mother, who looked so peaceful in death, he missed her already. 

"I'm sorry mama, I'm sorry I couldn't protect you" Keith whispered, going to his room and grabbing the jar filled with stars, clutching it to his chest with one arm and holding the iPhone in the other, wishing his mother to life. 

" _999, what's your emergency?_ "

 

* * *

 

Keith was eleven he finally met Marie. 

Marie was considered a last resort at his orphanage, she was someone who found homes for the "problem children" as the workers had called children like him. Children who couldn't settle down in a home, like him. 

His first family were too expectant of him, believing him to be completely over the events that had only happened a few months previous. Keith then began realising that all adults, except his mama, were stupid. Of course he wouldn't be over what had happened, of-fucking-course. But they didn't believe that. They expected him to be right at the top of the class, popular and making friends, despite his glaringly obvious trust issues. Not to mention he saw the disapproving looks his stars, which he carried round like a teddy bear, got.

So he didn't, he didn't try hard just to spite them. Even when their smiles grew false and their punishments grew more often. Eventually giving him back like a broken toy. So he went back to his old room, his jar of wishing stars still with him. It was getting fuller and fuller, and with every star made Keith spoke to his mother, it helped him keep his sanity.

The second family were similar, but didn't care about his school work or friends. Instead they tried to replace his mother. Whenever he confessed to his foster mum that he missed his real mother, she would shout at him to get over it. His father searched through all his things looking for remnants of her, he only had one and it wasn't even that clear, but it was something and Keith knew how to hide things well. They hit him sometimes, slaps and hits for not being good enough, for misbehaving, ones that would leave his arms black and blue, but Keith scowled and took it.  The final straw was when they tried to take his stars, he fought tooth and claw to keep them, screaming that they would never be his parents. 

They took him back that very night. 

It had been six months since then, a year and a bit since he had arrived at the orphanage, and no one wanted him. So Marie was called to the scene, a woman with a faint french accent and tanned skin. Her black hair was pulled into a ponytail that trailed onto her left shoulder, and she was constantly smiling. Keith was fascinated by her. 

"So Keith, how are you feeling today?" She grinned at him, Keith shrugged, looking out of the window. 

"I thought you were meant to find me a new home, not be my therapist" He said uninterestedly. Marie didn't seem deterred though, so Keith decided to push her a little more.

She thinks for a second, her eyes crinkling slightly, "That's true, but how can I find you the perfect home if I don't know you that well?" 

Keith doesn't respond. Marie waited a second, then jotted something down on her notepad in front of her. Interest piqued, Keith tried to subtly read the writing upside down.

An...gry, Unt..rusting, Sad, Cun...ning.

 Keith scowled and clutched the jar of stars tighter. Marie seemed to pick up on this, her eyes widening with her smile.

"What is that you've got in your lap, Keith?" She asked, Keith clutched it protectively against his chest. 

"Stars"

"What for?"

He paused, choosing whether to tell her or not. He did, against his better judgement. 

"Wishes" 

This caught Marie's interest, "Wishes?"

"Yeah"

She moved her hand, gesturing for him to elaborate. Keith sighed to himself, avoiding her piercing gaze.

"Mama told me that if I made a thousand stars, I'd get to make a wish. I thought it was stupid" Lies. "Though I was sure that I heard it before so I thought to make her happy I would try it"

Marie stared into his eyes intently, working on unraveling his soul with her amber eyes. Keith cursed to himself when he realised it was working. She had the demeanour that made him just want to spill everything to her, just to let her into his small, fragile heart. 

"You loved your mother very much" She said slowly, her notepad forgotten to the side of her desk. Keith nodded wordlessly. He had made himself try to forget all about his mother, but her smell still lingered in his mind, her voice echoed in his dreams, her face haunted him at night. Forgetting is far easier and less hurtful than remembering. Marie was quiet for a moment. 

"What have you wished for?" She asked tentatively, Keith shrugged. 

"I dunno, a family, my mama, happiness, a friend..." Tears welled up in his eyes as he remembered, he remembered her, he felt so...so sad..."I've still got a few hundred stars to go, so it doesn't matter"

Marie stood, pushing her spinning chair in and making her way around to Keith, engulfing him in a tight hug. Keith didn't cry, instead the tears burned his eyes, he closed them- willing for the tears to vanish. They did eventually. Keith wound up loosely wrapping his right arm around her as well, burying his face in her cardigan. The other clutched the jar. 

The two pulled away, Marie sniffing and wiping her nose on her sleeve. She picked up the sleek black phone on her desk and punched in a few numbers. Her face twisted into a smile, and she chatted to the person on the other line. Keith zoned out, clutching the jar tighter. The walls were lined with shitty drawings by children, bright colours and square houses. Along the other wall were pictures of the children, all with smiling faces and happy eyes. 

Keith's attention was brought back to Marie grinning at him and saying four words that would change his life forever.

"Get me the Shirogane's"

* * *

 

Keith was twelve when he met the Shiroganes. 

It had been three months since his appointment with Marie, and he was finally here. The Shirogane's were sort of like a myth at Keith's care home. They were kind, and caring, raising successful children, yet only a few were able to go there. Only three people had come back to tell of their new lives.

Their house was medium sized, with a white fence that alluded to a big back garden hidden behind the house. Marie was with him, just to help him get settled into his new home. Keith slung his backpack filled with the few tattered clothes he had, his arms were still wrapped around the jar of stars. His face pulled into an uncertain scowl, taking a small step backwards at the intimidating size of the house. 

Marie's hand pressed gently into his back, quietly ushering him forwards. She pressed the doorbell for him, listening as it seemed to echo through the house. There was a womans voice, and lots of footsteps, Keith took a half step back giving Marie a scared look. She only smiled and ruffled his hair. The door opened revealing the Shirogane's, they were a small family. A mother, father, and their son. 

The woman was short with black hair tied into a bun, she was short and plump and with a kind face that the Shirogane's all seemed to have. Mr Shirogane was tall, towering over his wife but only just over his son who clearly resembled his father more than his mum. 

Marie had been busy exchanging pleasantries with Mrs Shirogane, Keith suddenly felt two warm hands on his cheeks and he instinctively flinched away. 

"I'm sorry dear, I'm sorry" Mrs Shirogane said, softly, Keith could almost not hear her, "You look so handsome" Her lips curved into a frown, and she patted his cheeks again, "If not a little bit thin, but we'll soon feed you up! Keith, isn't it?"

Keith nodded silently, a blush forming on his pale cheeks. Mrs Shirogane ushered him and Marie inside and into the spacious living-room, it had a light colour scheme, with cream carpets and white curtains and a cream sofa. In the middle of the room was a white coffee table filled with biscuits, juice, and coffee. 

Mrs Shirogane sat with her husband, "I'm Sachiko, and my husband is Kuro" he waved, grinning, Keith felt a warmth rise in his chest and shyly waved back. 

"Our son, over there, is Takashi" He appeared to be a few years older than Keith, with a wide, chiseled face like his fathers but a disposition like his mother. He also waved, which Keith returned. "He'll show you around the house and to your bedroom whilst we talk to Marie, is that okay?" 

Keith nodded, following Takashi out of the room and down the hall to the stairs. The hall was light blue, with pictures of the family lining the walls. They seemed very happy, Keith almost felt sorry for intruding. Takashi led him up the stairs and onto the landing, leading him to a red door with black writing that said: **KEITH**.

They stood there for a second, then Takashi coughed lightly. 

"You can go in if you'd like, it's all yours" Keith looked up at him, Takashi's features were very kind, and trusting but Keith had trusted his last two families. Gently he opened the door. It creaked loudly, and was very annoying. The room itself was pretty big, with a large window overlooking a single bed with red covers on it. In the corner of the room was a desk with a red spinny chair, pencils were held in a pot next to a red lamp. A wardrobe, chest of drawers and a bookshelf were opposite the bed, and appeared to be empty for Keith to fill with his stuff. 

Keith gazed in wonder at everything, it was simple but amazing. And it was all Keith's. Putting his jar of stars on his desk, he dumped his bag on the bed and lay down next to it, spreading like a starfish and closing his eyes, letting himself doze on the soft bed.

"So, how'd you like it?" Takashi asked. Keith sat up quickly, remembering that the boy was indeed standing by the doorway. He crossed his arms, keeping his defence up once again.

"It's...very red" Keith inwardly cursed himself, red? Fucking red? Really? Thats all you can describe it as? Takashi laughed, leaning against the doorway.

"That's very true, Mum found out from Marie that your favourite colour was red and decided to try and make you feel as welcome as possible" He rubbed the back of his neck, "She can go a bit overload" He trailed off awkwardly. 

Keith shook his head, "I like it" Takashi's smile widened and Keith felt the warmth come back, rising up into his heart. "Thanks Takashi" 

"Call me Shiro, all my friends do, and it's much nicer than Takashi" 

Keith nodded, "Okay Shiro" 

"Want to head downstairs? Do you like coffee?"

"Yes" Keith replied, following Shiro out of the room and downstairs. He remembered though, they might just be keeping up appearances. Keith wasn't anything special. He was a problem child, rude and horrible, nothing would be made out of his pathetic life. The Shirogane's would just be another passing family.

* * *

 

 When Keith was thirteen, a year had passed and he was still with the Shiroganes. Keith realised on his thirteenth birthday that he loved them as his family, especially since they had asked to introduce him to people as their son, or as Shiro's brother. He accepted, and Shiro went around with 'my brother Keith'. The warmth was always with him now, making him feel complete.

 Keith was red, filled with an unfamiliar warmth. He had his cold days, and with those cold days the number of stars in the jar increased, and Keith had begun writing down things he could wish for. High school was beginning soon, and although he hadn't had time to make friends in primary, he was determined to make friends in high school. Shiro went there too, and he was pretty cool! 

Armed with his red and black backpack, and in his school uniform, Keith began walking to the bus. It was five minutes away and a pleasant walk at that. There were no first years at his stop, so he stood alone watching cars and people go by. Shiro arrived just before the bus came, with his group of friends. Rowdy boys that were nothing like Shy Shiro. He wasn't loud, but well respected and people stopped to talk to him, people he didn't look like he knew. 

Shiro was popular, with the popular crowd, and as the day progressed it seemed like everyone knew him. Girls fawned over him and guys wanted to be his best friend. But Keith found himself sitting alone again, friendless. No one talked to him, and he had even tried! Shiro didn't talk to him either, shooting Keith apologetic glances whenever he tried to talk to him. Keith huffed and scowled, the warmth turning to ice. He didn't need friends anyway.

Classes ended for the day, and Keith knew he had made a good impression on the teachers, though that could be because he was Shiro's brother. Shaking the thoughts from his head, Keith walked into the kitchen, dumping his bag. Sachiko was baking something, an apron wrapped around her plump waist, she gave Keith powdery kisses. 

"Hello Keith, how was your first day at school?"

Keith shrugged, "Okay"

His mother frowned, "Just okay?"

"Yep, thats all"

He pulled away, ignoring his mother's frown, grabbing his bag and putting it upstairs in his room. Shiro came back later, just before tea, having been out with his friends. Keith heard his father talking to Shiro about how he didn't like the people he hung out with. Shiro told him it was fine, they were just a bit immature, but they'd straighten out before school ended.

Then rumours flew around the school that Shiro had been sent to the Headmasters office, something about getting into a fight. Keith finds Shiro later that night, gazing out of his bedroom window and up at the stars. They don't say anything, Keith knows that Shiro's been given a strict talking to, from their parents and the headmaster and he had gotten off with only a warning for several unknown reasons, and the fact that his 'friend' had actually started the fight. That didn't excuse the fact that Shiro had nearly broken his nose. 

"What happened?" Keith asked gently, Shiro sighed.

"They were picking on the new kid, Matt, calling him names...derogatory ones. I got annoyed at them, then Jack punched me" He points to the black, blue, and slightly green splotch on his jaw. 

"I  lost control of my emotions, I don't even know why I acted as violently as I did"

Keith understood, he remembered fighting, he remembered being so angry that everything blurred and became nothing. 

"Do you regret it?"

Shiro gave him a sad smile, "No" 

Keith spent his night making more stars and putting them in his jar. He hadn't been doing it lately, the stars reached almost halfway up the jar, he added more tallymarks to the jar.

The next day he was sitting alone at lunch, when a girl with short hair like butterscotch and round glasses that took up half of their face. 

"I'm Katie Holt, but I'd prefer if you called me Pidge, I'm new here, and you look just as alone as I am. Can I sit here"

Keith blanched, "Yeah, go ahead"

Katie, or Pidge, grinned, "Great!"

As it turned out, Pidge and Matt were siblings, and had moved there a week prior. 

And that was how Keith gained his first proper friend, and how Shiro met his future boyfriend.

* * *

  

When Keith was fourteen, he realised he liked boys. Or rather, had no interest in girls romantically. 

He'd never really thought about his sexuality before then, though he hadn't had much contact with actual decent human beings so attraction wasn't something that happened often. Even then it wasn't obvious, just small things. 

A lingering glance at the cute guy in his class, not understanding what a guys found interesting or sexy about a womens breasts, and a few other things. Some guys made him feel weird, with their smiles and whenever their eyes happened to connect with his for a split second. He didn't like the way his heart beat fluctuated, or the way his breath caught in his throat, or the way a tingly feeling filled his stomach, fizzy like lemonade. So he became more pouty and annoyed with everything, scowling every time the feelings came back, which of course amused Pidge to no end. 

"You, my friend, are very dense and probably very gay" she joked one day, or, well, Keith thought she was joking until her smile dropped and she patted his back. "Seriously, think about it" 

Keith did, he spent many a night thinking about it, stars littered his desk from his late night musings. He pondered, until he reached an answer. 

"Pidge" He said one day when they were both doing their physics homework. She didn't even look up, humming to show she had heard. "I think I'm gay"

She looked up, "You think"

Sighing, Keith gave in, "Fine. I know I'm gay" 

The look Pidge gave him was one of smugness, "Good, I'm glad you've finally come to terms with yourself"

Like an invisible weight had been lifted off his shoulders, Keith continued his day lighter than usual, though nothing much changed otherwise. When Keith got home, he found his mother crying, his father with one arm around his wives shoulder, the other discretely wiping his eyes. 

"Mum, dad?" Keith asked, walking slowly into the living room, "What's-" 

They jumped, turning to look at him. Shiro was also there, his body hidden behind the doorframe. A sad smile curved his mouth, he was holding a rucksack, dressed in a gaudy orange

uniform that Keith hated. It was the Garrison University of Space Exploration and Astrophysics uniform, Shiro had begun studying there after leaving school and quickly because one of the top students. Keith dropped his bag harshly on the floor, stalking over until he was right in Shiro's face.

"Shiro?" He asked lowly, a guilty look flashed across his face.

"Sorry Keith, a last minute mission came up, I was chosen; I had to take it"

Keith scowled. "How long will you be away?" 

Shiro grimaced, "I can't say...A month, six months, a year...depends on what happens" Their mother sobbed louder. Keith felt his limbs go into auto drive, they wanted to strike out, to hit something. He settled for the doorframe, Keith's knuckles popped when they connected with the wood, but still the rage was there.

"Keith!" His father shouted as Keith ran up to his room, slamming the door behind him. He pushed his bookshelf against the door and sat in front of it, his fingers making paper stars as fast as they could. Footsteps walked outside his door a minute later, followed by a tapping noise.

"Keith?" Shiro sounded defeated, broken, and Keith hated it though he wasn't about to go giving in. "Keith?...I'm sorry, if I could have told you sooner I would have..."

He didn't say anything.

There was a sigh, and a breathy mumble of a word, then the footsteps receded. Keith felt like he would burst, all this anger and sadness building up inside of him, he wanted to cry and scream and let it all resonate until the whole world knew his pain. The sound of Shiro's car reversing and driving away haunted him, and Keith cursed his life, and the fact that everyone would leave him eventually.

It was inevitable.

* * *

 

When Keith was fifteen, his whole world came crashing down on top of him. 

He'd been angry when Shiro left, undoubtedly, but as soon as Shiro was allowed to do a Skype call from S.S KERBEROS Keith was the first to speak to him, rambling apologies and begging for forgiveness. Shiro did the same, and they made up, as brothers do.

Keith had been on edge though, snapping at people for no reason. Pidge understood, Matt and her father were on the mission with Shiro, Keith couldn't understand how she kept so calm. Something about never knowing if Shiro would return home in one piece set him on edge, even though he saw Shiro once a month on Skype.

He hated the fact that his parents had to act normally even though their only son was all the way up in space, looking at distant planets that they hadn't even heard of. They were proud sure, but Keith thought that the fear of losing someone outweighed their pride. Apparently not, though Keith didn't understand a lot of things.

As the months went past, the one year anniversary of Shiro's deployment came and passed, but there was no news from Shiro.

He seemed to have disappeared from the universe.

Keith remembered in detail.

It was physics, he sat alone in the back of the class, Pidge was down at the front. There was a knock at the classroom door, and a stone-faced secretary opened it.

"Can Keith Kogane and Katie Holt please go to the headmasters office immediately" 

Together the rose from their seats, giving each other questioning looks as they walked down the halls to the headmasters office. Keith's stomach dropped immediately when they stepped into the office, Pidge's mother sat with his parents, their eyes were rimmed with red and bloodshot.

The next moments were a blur, everything seemed to fade into red as words filtered into Keith's ears.

Shiro...crew...accident...ship crashed...dead...nothing could be done...

Everything was lost after that. Keith opened his eyes and saw the glow-in-the-dark stars and planets that littered his ceiling. A soft pressure swiped across his forehead, Keith managed to find enough energy to look to his right. His mum sat on the edge of his bed, stroking his hair softly.

"Wha-" He rasped out, throat dry snd unable to speak, his mother seemed to understand.

"You began thrashing out, you couldn't see or hear us, we couldn't stop you..." She smiled sadly, and Keith noticed that her eyes were still rimmed with red, "You've been...excused for a week, longer if need be" 

Keith sat up, "No...I can't miss school, my studies-"

His mums face turned a little sterner, "No Keith, when I said 'excused' I meant...well, excluded for a week. You completely ruined the headmasters office. Your father and Katie had to fight tooth and claw to keep you there" Her face softened again and Keith instantly felt guilty, "I know it was involuntary, so does your father, and the headteacher now, but that reaction was telling, Keith. You're hurting, you need time to cope, and if you don't take it then you'll suffer for it. I've already got one son missing, I can't let my other go too"

Hanging his head, Keith leaned into his mums shoulder, pressing his eyes shut but unable to cry. Her arms wrapped around him, holding him against her tight, like Marie did, like his mama did, warmth filled him once more reminding him of Shiro.

"We'll be okay" His mother told him, standing up off the bed, "You want anything? Tea? I can order pizza if you'd like?"

"Just tea will be fine, I'll grab something later"

"I love you Keith, and so does your father, and so does Shiro" she said quietly, Keith nodded, a bump forming in his throat.

"I love you all too" He replied, his mother nodded and left him alone. 

The room was so empty. Filled with a loneliness that nothing could make better. Keith fell back onto his pillow, covering his face with the back of his arm.

Mama, he yelled silently, he's gone. Someone else has left me. What do I do? Please tell me, please...

Hours passed, but Keith was given no answer.

* * *

 

When Keith was sixteen, he entered Garrison University.

He hated the Garrison with every fibre in his being, but he had no choice but to go there. After a week of feeling nothing, Keith realised they had said MIA- Missing, not killed, in action. Shiro, Matt, and the Holt father were only presumed dead. Even then, the details didn't make sense. An accident? Shiro was the best pilot, Matt the best medic, and Sam Holt was the finest Engineering professor the university had seen. Something wasn't right. 

Getting into the Garrison was the only way to find out what really happened, despite how much Keith hated them. Pidge was sceptical, having dealt with her losses in her own way, and accepting their fate. Though her eyes lit up with something between sadness, anger, and hope when Keith told her what he thought.

"it sounds like bullshit" She said, "But you're right...it doesn't add up"

"See?" Keith sighed, "There's something not right here"

Pidge sighed, the two were sitting outside against trees in the school grounds. 

"Come on Pidge" Keith groaned at her, "There's a chance they could be alive. If so, what else is the Garrison hiding from us?" His expression turned murderous, "What if Shiro and Matt found something, so the Garrison tried to cover it up...what if they did something to KERBEROS? Pidge, how many people have been told the same shit, how many believed their loved ones were dead when they might not have been?"

Pidge's caramel eyes scowled, and she clenched her fist turning to face Keith with a smirk.

"Lets unearth their asses"

Keith and Pidge were undoubtedly the years smartest students, with Pidge taking home the Dux award and Keith being the top of his year. They decided to leave school, taking the entrance exam for the Garrison instead of finishing their six years at high school. Not like they'd be missing important stuff anyway. 

The exam was a breeze, and they both passed with flying colours and entered the Garrison, choosing to stay in the dorms. Keith hadn't told his parents, guilt eating him up whole until he did. Their cries and shouts haunted him for months. Fear etched onto their faces and they shook him, trying to get him to stay home, bribing him, pleading, begging.

"I'm sorry mum, dad, but I need to find out what happened to Shiro, Matt, and Sam. I'll never be able to live with myself if I don't" He said, hanging his head, his mother pulled him into a tight hug.

"Please, please stay safe. Phone or text us every night, come home on weekends, just let us know you're alive"

"I promise" He breathed into her neck, his father was next, pulling Keith into his sturdy chest.

"Please come back to us. I love you Keith" 

Keith's eyes widened, he'd never been close to his father, one too many scars showed why he distrusted older men, but Keith found himself hugging his father back.

"I love you too, I promise, I'll come back" 

Keith went upstairs to clean out the rest of his room and found the jar of stars he had neglected under his bed. Picking them up, he placed it into his backpack among underwear and pictures of his family. After another final goodbye, he met Pidge at the train station, she was hunched over, only lifting her head to notice Keith sitting next to her. Neither said anything until the next day, travelling in silence, they both knew what the other had gone through. 

Life in the Garrison was like life at school, except your classes could be at any time and you lived two minutes away from all your classes. Keith and Pidge shared all the same classes, Tech and Engineering, Flight Lessons, How to Survive in Space, The History of Space, and Space Beyond the Solar System. It was fun, admittedly, though Pidge seemed to be having a better time. Her passion was technology, and she fit right into the spaces that they had earned.

Keith was less tolerant of people, viewing them as people who blindly followed the Garrison's 'spectacular' education system like orange sheep. None of them bothered to question if what they were learning was true. Though, there was not really another way to prove the information otherwise. 

Their first victory came from Pidge hacking into the mains system, into Professor Filancio's (the Space Beyond the Solar System teacher) personal files, it showed there had been alien signals being emitted from a distant moon, one named Cerberos.

"Cerberos? Like Kerberos?" Pidge whispered, "Is that where they went?"

The next win came a month later, as Professor Iverson's (the Headmaster and slimy Flight teacher) files showed that the S.S KERBEROS had been there for almost a week before signals were cut. 

"That" Keith pointed to a date on the spreadsheet, "That's the day before Shiro and my weekly Skype call, the one he missed" 

Keith didn't know if they could consider their next discovery a win. It had been three months, and the Garrison seemed to know that someone had been accessing private files, as Pidge found it increasingly more difficult to get into the base.

She did though, managing to hack her way into the deepest depths of the database, reaching sound files sent from the S.S KERBEROS to the Flight Team on Earth. Iverson was the leader of the Earth Team, surprisingly enough. Pidge flicked through the messages, stuff like 'everything is fine', 'crew is all well', and 'nothing has been found yet' were prominent throughout the messages.

Then they stopped. 

They stopped for a good two weeks, then there was one, this one was only a minute long. Hesitantly, and under the cover of Pidge's alias Ivy, they pressed play.

'Garrison Leader Iverson, this is...Pilot Takashi Shirogane...we- we're in trouble sir. We were atta-attacked on Cerberos by an unknown race of a-alien. Lieutenant S Holt and Doctor M Holt are- are somewhere, status unknown. I've man-managed to escape my holding cell for now. Please send help, our co-ordinates are X 24, 12...Y 98, 75...an- and Z 56, 32. Plea-please send help immediately, I repeat please se-'

There was a loud crash and a cry that sent Keith's blood cold.

 **'Gotcha'** Snarled an inhuman voice from the message, there was another cry that was cut off by static. Pidge and Keith looked at each other, pale and eyes wide.

There were two more attempts at contact, each after Shiro and the Holt's apparent death. The first message was just garbled nonsense, the second was declined by Iverson.

Pidge shut down her program, hiding her laptop under her bunk. Neither said anything. They had heard Shiro's cry for help, they had heard and ignored him.

The next morning the students were awoken early, there was apparently an emergency meeting. Keith knew his time was up. 

"Someone" Shouted Iverson to the hall filled with half awake students, "Managed to break into our personal security files last night, and have been doing so for the last four months" He eyed up the crowd, "That is a federal offence, and can get you many, many years in prison. Now. Who did it?"

Keith scanned the crowd for Pidge, who was staring at Iverson in fear, her eyes blown wide. Keith growled, standing up off his seat. Iverson stared at him, unimpressed.

"Mr Kogane, our best pilot, our favourite student. I do hope you enjoy prison"

"I hope the same for you, Iverson" Keith shouted back, Iverson flinched, "Withholding information from families and lying to them about their family members is a crime too"

Iverson's murderous eyes flashed, "Security, bring Mr Kogane to my office"

Two large men grabbed Keith by his arms and hauled him out of the hall. Iverson stormed in two minutes later.

"What the hell are you playing at Kogane?"

"Takashi Shirogane and the Holts are alive, and you know it!" Keith roared, Iverson stood behind his desk while the two security staff pinned Keith to his chair. 

"You are mistaken, they died in an unfortunate accident, the engines failed sending the ship down and killing them" Iverson sniffed, "That's all"

Teeth bared, Keith tried to stand, "Bullshit"

"Watch your tone with me Kogane, you may be our best pilot, but you're only a child. Small and insignificant. Filled with grief." He smirked, "Besides, I know nothing of Shirogane, the minute he made contact with the Galra he was no longer of any use to us, pilots are expendable, everyone is, and so was Shirogane"

Keith jolted, going deadly still, "Shiro never mentioned the type of alien..."

Iverson grinned, showing off white teeth, "oopsie"

Keith fought and struggled in his captors arms, "You planned this" he snapped, Iverson scoffed.

"They wanted an offering, something to prove that we were allies and not enemies, I simply provided them and they give us back information" He sighed wistfully, "It's amazing what the human body can cope with. Experimentation is very rewarding"

"And the other people? Others that died in 'unfortunate incidents?'" Keith spoke lowly.

"Well" Iverson drawled, "You can't buy alliance forever, every so often the payment needs...topping up"

Keith leapt forwards, arms swinging wildly. "YOU LYING, CRUEL, SADISTIC, FUCKING BASTAR-"

"Now, now, Mr Kogane, I know you're upset about the death of Takashi Shirogane, but this is no way to be acting. We've been too lenient with you, you are now expelled from the Garrison. Security, escort him from the grounds"

Keith leapt and thrashed around wildly, trying to hit something, anything, but to no avail. Keith noticed Pidge standing in one of the corridors, looking at him with fear. 

Stay in contact, he mouthed as he was dragged from the building and thrown into the dirt, his baggage thrown out after him. 

His parents were pleased, if not slightly saddened to see Keith home. They offered condolences for Shiro's death, it had passed for them, they had healed. Keith was left bleeding openly, not knowing what to do.

* * *

 

When Keith was seventeen, Shiro returned to earth. 

It was late at night, a year after his exclusion from Garrison. He had moved to the country, away from his parents, away from Pidge, away from everyone. He couldn't face them, the shame and humiliation lured him into depression. He hadn't eaten in a while, though it didn't matter, nothing did. 

Pidge texted him often, she was top of the year, as always, but Keith couldn't find it in him to answer.

There was nothing in his house, if you could call it that, there was a pathetic excuse for a bed, a table, a sink, and a shower. The back wall was filled with pictures and post-it notes of his family and friends. Memories scattered on a worn down wooden wall. 

One of the only good things about the house was the view, it was surrounded by desert and the closest village was half an hour by motorbike. There were no lights, so at night the sky was littered with hundreds and thousands of tiny stars, like fireflies stuck in ink. 

Paper stars lay scattered in the house, adorning every surface, he'd nearly finished with his 1000 stars and soon he'd have his wish. It was a childish habit, and he was naive for thinking he would actually get a wish, but in these trying times it was the only thing that grounded him. 

He was staring at the stars when his phone buzzed with a message from Pidge. Keith checked his phone, the bright lights burning his eyes. 

P _idge: Get to the Garrison. There's a blind spot along the tenth pole in the fence to the left of the entrance. Get in there and meet me in Exam Room 13. Be ready for anything._

Keith shoved his phone in his back pocket and ran to his motorbike, the engine purred beautifully. It roared into action, racing down the dry dirt. He'd mapped a route to the Garrison, it was roughly forty minutes from his shack. Though at the pace he was going it would be much sooner. 

The Garrison was dimly lit, but with his eyes adjusted to the dark Keith found his way fine. He jumped over the fence between the tenth and eleventh pole to the left of the entrance and found Exam room 13. It was guarded heavily, something the Garrison never did, unless they were hiding something. 

He dug in his pockets and found an old handkerchief, deciding it would have to do he tied it around his nose and mouth. Taking out the guards was easy, and Keith found himself slipping into his fighting stance with no hesitation, clearly it was something that always stayed with you. 

After the last guard was taken care of Keith sighed a breath of relief. 

"Hey" Whispered a voice from behind him, Keith spun around coming face-to-face with Pidge. She'd grown, now reaching Keith's shoulders. She also appeared to cut her hair, it spiked up around her ears, and she now wore perfectly round glasses that were too big for her petite face but still managed to suit her. 

"Long time no see, Kogane" Pidge greeted, Keith awkwardly waved. 

"Heyy..." He coughed, "So what's the situation here?"

Pidge sighed, "I was on the roof, tracking down alien life when this weird signal came in. Just as I read it, the whole school went on lockdown" She paused, "I had a feeling it might be KERBEROS, there was both alien and organic life in that ship"

Keith jolted at the word KERBEROS, his veins lighting on fire once more. "Lets go" he says, voice low and dangerous, Pidge nods in agreement following him inside. 

The Exam Room was empty, lit up with violet lights. There were two beds, with two occupants strapped to them by leather cuffs around their wrists and ankles. Both were unconscious. 

Matt and Shiro. 

Pidge rushed forward, grabbing a spare scalpel and doing her best to cut through the confines on Matt's bed. Keith helped, grabbing another and doing the same for Shiro. His brother had changed. A long scar ran across the bridge of his nose, he was skinny for his stature, and the very front of his hair had turned snow white. His breathing was shallow and sweat glistened on his forehead. The most prominent change was the metal arm that was where the flesh of his left arm should have been, Keith shivered.

When Matt and Shiro were successfully cut out, their siblings both carried them on their backs out of the Exam Room. No doubt they'd be reported missing, or maybe they wouldn't care at all. Hauling the two men over the fence, Keith led Pidge to his motorbike. 

"Here, put Matt and Shiro between us then grab hold of my shirt or something, we have to keep them on"

"Right" Pidge said, doing as she was told. Keith revved his bike and shot away towards his shack. When they reached it, it was five in the morning, and Keith got off his bike leaning Shiro back.

"Where are you going?" Pidge shouted.

"I'm grabbing a few things, I'm heading right back to my parents house, Shiro needs them"

Keith did that, shoving the photos and jar of stars into his worn out backpack and drove back home. 

It was weird being home, he hadn't been there in almost a year, and communication with his parents was sparse. It was bad enough telling them he'd been kicked out, he had never told them why, he simply left with a note in place of his sleeping body. With Shiro on his back, Matt of Pidge's, and his backpack, Keith knocked frantically at the door. There was muttering and footsteps as his father put the keys in the lock and opened the door.

"Yes? What is it-" He snapped, then he took in his sons face and his expression dropped. "Keith...?" He looked at Keith's shoulder, paling, "Shiro...? Quickly quickly get inside"

He ushered Keith and Pidge in, telling them to place the two older men in Shiro and Keith's old bedroom, Keith found it heartbreaking that they hadn't changed anything. After making sure the two were alright, Keith went down to the living room where his parents were waiting.

The silence and tension could be cut with a knife, no one spoke, not wanting to break the silence.

"Where have you been Keith?" His mother choked out eventually, "We were so worried"

"Sorry mum, and dad" He spoke, "I just...wanted to get away"

They nodded, "It's okay, you're back now. You both are" 

Pidge came rushing downstairs, eyes wide, "They're awake"

Keith stood, "Shiro!" He shouted upon seeing his brother alive and well, "Are you okay? Talk to me?" 

Shiro stared at him, "Keith?...am I...home? Where's Matt?"

"He's next door, you're home Shiro, you're home. Iverson told us you were dead, but now we can go back and prove him wrong-"

"What?" Shiro interrupted, "No, no Keith, no, I- I don't want to ever talk about it or go back, I want to forget, I want to believe this all was a horrible dream"

Keith faltered, "But-"

"Keith please" Shiro begged, "Just...let us forget"

Matt wanted the same, despite Keith and Pidge's disbelief, they agreed, getting a 'formal' apology from Iverson a month later but nothing more. Keith and Shiro moved to the city, swearing to keep in contact Pidge, Matt, and their parents.

"If you don't I'll personally kick your ass" Pidge warned him, Keith gave a soft smile.

"Don't worry, I'm not disappearing this time"

They texted almost constantly and had dinner together every week. Keith and Shiro went to their parents house every Sunday. Finding work was no difficulty, Shiro went to university for teaching and began to work part time there, Keith worked at a small cafe.

But it wasn't all sunshine, Shiro went to therapy three times a week for anxiety, PTSD, and insomnia. Keith often found him panicking at night, shaking uncontrollably. He never spoke about what happened, neither did Matt, but when the two were together they sat, hands entwined and resting against one another in silent understanding.

Keith's day was the same, wake up, cook, make sure Shiro eats, go to work, work, come home, make sure Shiro is okay, tidy, make sure Shiro is okay, call parents, sleep.

It was monotonous, boring. He felt like he wasn't living.

Remember, people have it so much worse, he thought, people are fighting for their lives, get it together. 

So he took out his feelings in the jar of stars, he only had two hundred or so left, then he would get his wish. 

* * *

 

When Keith was eighteen, he finally got to make his wish. 

It was a Wednesday night, and Keith sat alone in his room making paper stars when there was a knock at his door. Shiro walked in, Keith raised an eyebrow at his attire. 

"What's the occasion?" 

Shiro blushed and rubbed the back of his neck, "I'm going out...with Matt, we're doing...stuff"

"Stuff?" Keith stated, "Like a date?"

"Y-Yeah...like a date" 

Keith gave a soft smile, "Well have a good time, and tell him if he hurts you I'll make sure Pidge puts hair dye in his shampoo or something"

Shiro laughed, it always made Keith happy when he laughed, "Thank you Keith, don't wait up, I'll be home late"

"Use protection!" Keith shouted just before Shiro left, the burn of happiness shone brightly, then faded, leaving Keith grey once again. The time seemed to pass too quickly, Keith just sat making stars, not feeling anything. 

995, 996, 997...

It was almost midnight. Outside the stars shone bright, the moon the largest of them all. 

998...999...1000...

Keith placed the last star in his jar, just as the clock on his phone turned to 00:00. Midnight. Time to choose his wish.

I wish...I wish...

I wish to be happy. 

A star dropped from the sky, leaving behind a burning trail of blue. Keith watched the trail vanish into black, with a small smile, he closed the lid and placed it in the corner of his desk and went to bed. It was a peaceful sleep, until he was awoken by an insistent banging on his front door.

What the fuck? He thought, Why is Shiro making so much fucking racket?

The banging wouldn't stop, Keith hurried as fast as his sleepy legs would let him, soon the neighbours would be complaining. 

"Shiro what the fuck are you-" Keith opened the door. It wasn't Shiro. 

Instead, it was a man, just as old as Keith stood at the door. He was tall and lanky, with tanned skin and bright white hair, under his eyes and on his cheek bones were glowing light blue accents, his eyes were a deep blue as well. White robes covered his body, almost as white as the blinding smile he gave Keith.

"Keith! I've missed you buddy! How have you be-"

Keith slammed the door. 

There was an indignant squawk from the other side as the banging started again. 

"Keith? Buddy? Let me in! Don't you remember me?" The man cried out, "Keeeeithhh!"

Keith opened the door slightly, "Shut up! You're going to wake my neighbours"

The man pouted, then smirked, "Well, if you let me inside maybe I'll be quieter"

"Why would I let some weird man into my house?"

"I'm not weird! You're weird with your stupid mullet"

Scowling Keith shut the door a little bit more, "Oh yeah, now I definitely want to let you into my house"

The mans face brightened, "Really?!"

"No" Keith deadpanned. The man pouted again.

"Keeeeiiiittthhh why won't you let me in! I'm your friend! We knew each other, y'know? Keith and Lance, best buds, BFFs, whoo!"

"Shut up" Keith seethed, "I've never met you before in my life"

The man seemed to deflate like a sad balloon, shoulders slumping, "Oh"

Keith sighed, feeling awful, he'd never been one for people.

"If you're quiet, I'll let you inside, but only for today, right?"

The mans face lit up again, and he trotted inside, making himself at home on Keith's couch.

"Make yourself at home" Keith said dryly, eyeing up the weird man now lying on his couch.

"Man these things are comfy, we don't have these in Dreamscape" He said, then sat up holding out a tanned hand, "Oh yeah, I'm Lance by the way, since you seem to have forgotten me"

Keith shook his hand, "Keith Kogane"

* * *

 

When Keith Kogane was eighteen, he met Lance, a strange boy from another dimension.

When Keith kogane was eighteen, his whole world changed.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, I'm Ruby Blue, and I write shit. 
> 
> This is the beginning of my new series, and I hope you stick around to see how it'll end. It'll be about five stories and they'll all be named after ABBA songs! Because I love ABBA! 
> 
> Okay, so leave me a comment and kudos and tell me what you thought- and I promise there'll be more Keith/Lance next time...this is only the beginning...
> 
> \- Ruby xxx  
> _________________________
> 
> NEXT TIME: Knowing Me, Knowing You


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